chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
