saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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