3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
