I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
