so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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