This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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