I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
