Can Purell be used as lube?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
