Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize