I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
