drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
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