im gay
i know
yea but for you.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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