Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
