I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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