The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
