I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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