loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
