I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
