He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
