Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
