Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
