doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i need an iv and a liver transplant
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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