I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
