I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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