What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
