Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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