you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
