6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
