I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
