So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
found the other keg... it's in the tree
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
