I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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