I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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