2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I wish my penis had an off switch
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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