Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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