You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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