her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
