i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
