what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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