Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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