My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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