that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
