the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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