I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
