you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
