i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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