don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I touched a dick in church today
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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