Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
