first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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