soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
