your thong is hanging out like whoa
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
