I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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