my soul wont recognize me after tonight
there was a trapeze. enough said
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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