He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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