I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
