Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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